Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Full moon party and beyond!!!

Since I last wrote my intrepid readers, some amaizing things that would blow your mind to see them have happened. This is after my elephant adventures I hasten to add!!
I write this email with a shaven head, well I thinks its a number 4 all over so nto that short. I decided in my haste to get my flowing locks cut, but I didnt bargain on the bloody ladyboy hairdressers getting over frisky and then 'zoooom' I was bald down the middle, so now instead of a shorter cut, I have compleately shorter hair. I look like a thug!!
Somethings that would send you insane and make you claw at the air like a nutter in the home. I am talking about no less than the infamous full moon party, the biggets rave in the entire world. Guess what? Yes I went to it and, sod me did I have a good time.
People say, 'Oh I had a good one last night, I got in at 7am'. Ha ha, I say to that I got in at 4pm two days later, still dazed and confused, but it was worth it.
Let me get you lot up to speed with all my exploits so far. The last time I wrote I was on the island of Koh Samu. Well we all boarded the high speed catamaran and pummelled our way accross the sea bumping up and down and vomiting over the side. I even ventured otu on deck to see those poor sods who hadnt managed to procure a seat as they were too late. These miserable Americans tourists were huddled togheter and how funny they looked all soaking wet in their socks and sandels!
As we waited for the boat we were idly talking about how the Thais put some old transiot engine ont he back of a long tail boat, then out of nowhere there appeared rope man!!!!! Why did he have lads of rope? We shall never know but I believe he was an escaped nonce on his way to Cambodia, all that rope to tie up kids. There are lots of isolated rocks outhere, many of whioch could be mistaken for kiddy island! Imagine stumbling accorss one, and then boom! Your snared in his den!
Well enough of the hypethetical balls about a noce with rope, lets get back to the juicy details. We arrived on Koh Phan gan, which is the hedonistic capital of Thailand. As soon as we disembarked and were on terra firma you could smell the weed in the air. We ended up staying in a place so off the beaten track that we needed to hire scooters to get to the nearest shop. We stayed at a place called Haad Gruad, it was a collection of ramshackle huts on the beach and was run by a crazy gay Dutch man who had a marriage of convience and was seeing to the kitchin boy. This place was a little strange but then got stranger when they decided to do highway man kareko, where they ran at you wioth the microphone and made you sing love songs. All ther Aussie's loved t sing, but us Brits, well we just heckled.
We all stayed a week on the island, Ally and me sharing a room that shook when the waves crashed against the rocks, Mike up on the hill to get away from rance's snoring (its like a bloody train) and Francis in his little love den near the Dutch mans grotto. Eveything we drnak, ate or did while at this place the Dutchman put in the book. When we left we went through the book and there is no way we drank all that sang som whiskey, or did we???
The full moon party came and went in a blurr of drunken debauched craziness. I wish I could remember it all, I remember being on ther beach drinking alcohol in buckets and then the sun came up but the trance music continued. I climbed on rocks with firewroks and scared many people as I danced with everyone else like a mad man. Magic mushroom milkshakes were aplenty and I highly reccommend them! The fire throweres, fifeworks, massese of people and thousands of different types and genres of music made the party one to remember. You just had to look through the immense crowd and suddenly tyou would see a wrecked man struggling to stand up on his own two feet looking like he was doing backstroke through the melee of people. We bumped into so many faces who we had met on our travels, some lookign scared, some mashed, but all loved the party. I highly recommend the spectacle of the full moon party to any one who ventures this way in Thailand. The only bad thing is the sea becomes one assiove toilet, men and women alike and wilds mangy dogs pray on the week. Dogs!! Bloody mangy flea ridden aids hounds roam everywhere, they strike when you least expect. I am sure one will drag me off into the jungle later on!!!!
There is no real way to describe the madness and crazy antiocs of the full moon party, you will just have to sample it for yourself I am afraid!
It tooka few days to recover aftre that, a few days of loungin in the blistering heat getting tanned and sunswept in a hammock slowly swaing in the sea breeze, oh that was the life!!
Where we were on the island was so isolated that the only way t get round apart from the Dutchmans overpriced taxi was to hire mopeds. How I never died I dont know!! We hurtled all over the island near misses galore and one time I was doing silly speeds down a hill and I bloody ran out of petrol. So some kind Thai chap gave me a lift to the garage in the back of his truck. When I say garage I mean shed that sells molatov cocktails of red gasoline in sang som whiskey bottles. If it were not foir those whickey bottles of gasoline we would never have discovered the island of Koh Ma. Which is accessable at low tide accross a sandbank, once you get there and the tid comes in, your buggered!!!
I was also hurtling along a road and went 'oh look elephants' then crash and I flew through the air but stayed on my feet at the same time. Apparantly I came off the scooter skidded on the gravel and somehow flung myself away from the bike and ran into a bush. Everyone looked in shock. Then I gigled and drove off, I think I scared the elephant half to death.
To get back to the mainland from the island we first had to get the ferry, this ferry is moored up next to the near submerged hulk of an identical one. So it fills you with enthusiasm for Thai transportation!!! But we got this boat and soon we had made a wall of chang using all the cans we had consumed, by doing so we scared the life out of a few Irish girls who decided that the Enmglish were actually a nation of pissheads!!!
Once back on the mainland at Surathani we bussed along for ages to a place called Krabi. But Krabi was full, no room in the in so we had to stay in Fawlty towers in Krabi town.
Krabi itself is surrounded by massive looming amaizing jutting up rocks and mountians, this still didnt provide any protection from the 2004 Tsunami which desemated this area, but to look at it now all shiney and new you wopuld not belive ethat it happened. But tyhere are no monuments to the event!
The best part of Krabi is the longtail trip to Railay, Railey is a fantastically isolated and undeveloped streach of beach that you can only get to it by boat. We also had to traverse some jagged rocks to get to some of the most seculded parts. The boat trip over was truly eye watering beautiful, the rocks , the sea the sun shining down on your back. The place looked like Peter Pans island.
As the time of writing this I am in Ao Nang beach, which is far far far too touristy for my liking, thew plan now is to head tomorrow own to Koh Phi Phi (Don and Leh) and see the place where the beach was filmed, there is also James Bond Island where the man with the golden gun was filmed, but I want to rent a canoe to get there rather than be a tourist and go on a bleedin' tour. Then its up to Ayuthata and then the bridge over the river kwai, before descending into the hills in chang mai and chang rai, then a visa run into Laos is necessarry.
OhI almost forgot, we discovered a porn den! Wewere led through a reastaurnats kitchin into a cellar and there was porn heaven and all these gary glitter lookalikes there, I have never giggled so much!!!!!
As of now I have to get the slow boat to China, or Phi phi rather.
I hope all you lot are well and having fun.


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